If you didn’t grow up around hockey, you’ll immediately be confused by the odd terminology given to the levels. Who could guess that a Midget is larger than a PeeWee? Or how Bantam—technically, miniature domestic fowl—even relates to hockey? We asked for helping creating a (politically correct) mnemonic device for remembering hockey’s progression through Mite, Squirt, Pee Wee, Bantam and Midget. Thanks to our winner, Kristen, who wrote the active and gender-neutral “My Sweet Pass Blew Minds.”
The Winner: My Sweet Pass Blew Minds
Memorize and you’ll never forget who’s who in hockey again. (OK, you do have to remember that a Midget is bigger than a Mite, but just think “dust mite.”) Your player’s level is determined by his or her birth year not grade in school, which is why hockey parents refer to their players as “1999s” or “2003s.”
- M for Mite: My (under age 8)
- S for Squirt: Sweet (ages 9–10)
- P for PeeWee: Pass (ages 11–12)
- B for Bantam: Blew (ages 13–14)
- M for Midget: Minds (ages 15–18)
The Runners Up
Just a sampling of other entries includes:
- May Santa Please Bring Money
- Might Score Pucks Behind Me
- Might Squirt Pucks Behind Me
- Mom Said Please Bring Money
- Mom Said Please Buy Milk
- Monkeys Shoot Pucks Before Midnight
- Monkeys Shoot Pucks Between Meals
- Monkeys Slurp Pineapple Banana Milkshakes
- Mouthing off, Swearing, Punching warrant Bench Minors
- My Shot’s Probably Better, Macinnis
- My Sister Peed Before Me
- My Sister Played Before Me
- My Sister Puked Before Mass
- My Son Pays Big Money
- My Son Plays Bantam Major
- My Son Plays Better, Mister
- My Son Plays Big Man!
- My Squirt Peed on the Bag of your Midget
- My Sweet Pass Blew Minds
Editor’s Note: Thank you to Kelly Anton, Managing Editor of Grow the Game, for this story.